This Market Rally Hates You and Everything You Stand For


Yes you, The guy complaining about low volumes.

Yes you, The girl armed with her list of overbought stocks.

Yes you, The dude with a mean reversion strategy that never fails

Yes you, The chick who points out Amazon’s PE Ratio on and on.

Yes you, The Apple Fanboy who wonders: WTF won’t $AAPL go back up?

Yes you, The analyst pointing out money being concentrated into fewer and fewer names.

Yes you, The Day Trader who complains it’s only HFTs trading against each other.

Yes you, The Ackman’s of the world who go on TV and talk their short book.

Yes you, The piker who points out that this string of positive weeks can’t go on forever.

Yes you, The 401k career man who went to cash in March of 2009 and has been waiting for his precious pullback

Yes you, The Politicians in Washington who won’t get on board with our Dear Leader and his Federal Reserve and sing “Everything’s gonna be alright.”

Yes you, the junkie playing that biotech stock that’s stuck in a 5 cent trading range waiting on a court room to save you (you know who you are).

And yes to you Seany – the guy who is long volatility and gets kicked in the stomach on a near daily basis.

This market rally hates you and everything you stand for. So STFU and buy buy buy!!


NOTE, alternative title considered: “I’m wrong and if I childishly rant about it, maybe it’ll help”

About williamk82

William Kohlmann is a student at Grand Canyon University’s Ken Blanchard College of Business where he is earning his Masters in Business Administration with an Emphasis in Finance while working full-time for a leading financial institution. He is an Eagle Scout from Troop 105 of Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, aspires to be an entrepreneur, and currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona with his beautiful wife, Krystal.
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